Why are Introverted Teens Stigmatized by Their Peers and Sometimes Their Parents

High school culture has its hierarchal structure. At the top of the hierarchal culture, there is the popular group which include the cheerleaders,athletes, and the prom queens. In the middle, there are the average teens who have enough friends as not to be seen as outcasts. Then at the bottom of the hierarchal culture, there are the unpopular children. The so-called unpopular group would include many introverted kids, sometimes smart/gifted kids, and other nerdy kids.

High school culture can be sometimes difficult for teens to navigate, especially if they are introverts. High school culture is constructed for extroverts with its extracurricular activities and social groups. Belonging to a social group is one of the most important things in high school. Teens who do not belong to social groups in high school often have a difficult time as they are classified as losers and ostracized by their peers and sometimes their parents. Social consciousness in adolescence is at its highest. Many teens feel that they must belong to a group and indulge in social activities to be accepted.

Introverted teens have it more difficult at the high school level than their extroverted peers. Introverted teens tend to follow a different path. Oftentimes, they find the intense social interaction in high school to be numbing. They would rather pursue academic pursuits and solitary hobbies like reading, sketching, and writing than to pursue more extroverted activities. Furthermore, they would rather have fewer qualitative friends than to have lots of associates. The introverted teen is often not understood by their peers, teachers, and parents. They believe that the introverted teen is withdrawn, shy, and has social issues. They want to transform their "shy, introverted" teen into a "more social, popular, normal" teen.

Many introverted teens feel that their parents, especially if the parents are extroverted, do not understand them. The needs of the introverted teen is different than that of the extroverted teen. The introverted teen is comfortable spending lots of time alone, enjoying her/his own company. She/he does not necessarily have to indulge in a plethora of social activities to be happy. She/he is often contented indulging in solitary sports and hobbies. Many parents wish that their introverted teen would have more friends and to be more popular. They unintentionally push their teen to be more outgoing which result in their teen having issues with their self-esteem. Many introverted teens resent their parents attempting to make them more extroverted. They feel that their parents do not accept them as they are.

Introverted teens want to feel comfortable with their own personality. They do not want to be made into exact replicas of extroverted teens. Many introverted teens have their own circle of friends which they are comfortable with. I am an introvert. When I was in high school, I did not socialize extensively with my peers. I often preferred to be alone and read a good book. I was not interested in making small talk at all. However, I had a few friends which I discussed subjects with. I understand the introverted teem because I was an introverted teen. My mother would often push me to join teen social clubs which I was not interested in joining. I was very comfortable in my own skin.

Parents need not worry about their introvert teen "fitting in" in the social niche of high school. Research has proven that introverted teens are often more mature and individualistic than extroverted teens. Studies further prove that many introverted teens fall into the gifted category. Furthermore, introverted teens are less likely to indulge in delinquent behavior such as drugs, gangs, and promiscuous behavior than their extroverted peers Introverted teens, by their nature, do not follow the crowd and would prefer to be true to themselves. Think of Richard Norvick, the introverted high school science and math genius in PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED (the movie) who subequently became a computer millionaire. The introverted teen has her/his unique gifts and personality which should be respected and embraced.